Age paradox and Perihelion Shift

Despite their triumph with relativity and quantum theories, one paradox remained hard to solve for the scientists of the Era of ridiculous science. Why people as they grow and accrue more years become weak and perish while the younger with less age survive better? How come growth is a bad thing?

Of course there was an old saying- to grow is to perish. But explanations based upon reasoning, commonsense, experience and old sayings etc were not accepted by the religious scientists of the ridiculous science who believe only in the God of Maths. So everyone was eagerly waiting for a theory backed up by strong maths.

Finally a scientist proposed the long awaited theory to explain this paradox- “we will have to abandon our traditional thinking/ understanding of numbers. The value we attach to the numbers must be reversed. That is, smaller numbers must be assumed to have greater value than the bigger numbers. So the value of the numbers will go down as we count 1, 2, 3…. 1000 and so on”.

According to this great weird model, older people aged 80, 90, 100 etc have less value than the younger people aged 1, 10 and so on. Now it is no more a paradox that the less valued older people perish easily.

The rational scientific minds cried- ‘this is irrational and not science’.

The scientist replied “our world is an illusion and hence what we perceive, think and experience may not actually be correct. So we can’t simply rely upon our commonsense. My theory though appears irrational and against our intuition, it has good maths and accurately explained the long plagued ‘age paradox’. More over this model also explains another observation – 5mm (greater value) grass weeds better withstand winds than 10000mm (lesser value) long trees. We know relativity theory is weird but it correctly explained the Mercury perihelion shift and has strong maths”.

The irrational scientific world readily embraced this theory of relativity of numbers and the scientist was hailed as another Einstein.

“A 10kg cereal forms a much bigger heap than 1kg of the same. And 60 seconds is 60 times longer than 1 second- so more is not less” the rational minds continued to argue.

“Well, people have also been questioning the theory of relativity with similar arguments.  The problem is that these rational people don’t have a sense of maths and hence can’t grasp ideas like time dilation and space contraction. They don’t realize that 1 sec can actually be much longer than 60 sec and 1kg rice can form a bigger heap than 10kg rice, depending upon the reference frame one uses. For one to understand this cutting edge science, one should just believe in maths and not cling to rationality” the religious preaching went on.

“A person can travel into his past, kill his grandfather and comeback into the present and still be alive despite his grandfather was killed before his father was born! Nobody with commonsense can explain this paradox but Relativity does. We are proud of our religion of irrational science”.

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